Key Takeaways
- Hold your child, sibling, or other relative to the same team expectations you set for every athlete.
- Avoid overcorrecting for possible favoritism by becoming unnecessarily tough or demanding.
- Set clear boundaries between your role as a coach and your role as a family member.
- Keep communication open so both you and your athlete can address concerns before they become bigger problems.
Coaches occasionally face difficult situations during the season. Coaching your child, sibling, or other relative can create a different experience, though. While there are plenty of great aspects of coaching a family member, there can also be some awkward, uncomfortable, or tricky situations. Check out a few key dos and don’ts for coaching your child or another relative below and share any of your own tips or experiences in the comments!
If you’re taking on a coaching role for the first time, you can also explore our guide on how to become a cheer coach for more information about the responsibilities that come with leading a squad.
Don’t: Show Favoritism
This may sound obvious, but a lot of you have probably been on a team where the coach did show favoritism to a relative, and it is frustrating! While it can be difficult to not favor someone who is so close to you, it is your responsibility as a coach to do your best to treat everyone the same. This will be best for the athlete, too.
Use the same expectations and decision-making standards for everyone on the team. When possible, base opportunities, corrections, and responsibilities on clearly communicated team criteria rather than your family relationship.
Don’t: Be Too Tough
Sometimes, in an effort to not show favoritism, coaches will overcorrect and be too tough on their family members. Pushing your athletes to succeed and reach their potential is a good thing, and coaches know what helps different athletes and how to successfully motivate them, but make sure you aren’t criticizing or being overly demanding of your relative.
There’s no need to put them down just to make sure everyone knows you aren’t giving special treatment. This can even turn dangerous if you advise your relative to push through an injury or illness. If an athlete tells you they’re hurt or unwell, take the concern seriously rather than expecting them to prove they aren’t receiving special treatment. Follow your program’s safety procedures and appropriate return-to-participation guidance.
Just like with not showing favoritism, you have to treat your relative like you would any other team member.
Do: Set Boundaries
Be a cheer coach during cheer events, but don’t forget you are also a parent, sibling, cousin, or other family member. Your athlete needs both, but probably doesn’t want to be with their cheer coach 24/7. Don’t neglect your other roles in the athlete’s life.
You will need to figure out what boundaries work for you, but common mistakes to avoid include talking about cheer nonstop and nagging your relative about doing more exercises and stretches outside of practice.
It can help to agree on those boundaries before the season gets busy. Decide when cheer talk stays at practice, when your athlete can ask for extra coaching at home, and when both of you get to simply be family. Clear expectations can make it easier to separate a difficult practice or coaching decision from your relationship outside the gym.
Coaching multiple relatives can introduce another dynamic, too. Check out our tips for coaching sisters on a cheer team for more ideas.
Do: Communicate
Ask for feedback! Acknowledge that it is a unique situation, and ask for ideas on what you can do to make it a good experience. Ask your relative to let you know if they feel like you are showing favoritism, being too tough, or not separating your cheer life from your home life enough. Then, be open to the feedback!
This goes both ways, though. Make sure your athlete knows they don’t get special privileges. If you feel that they are taking advantage of your relationship, communicate that!
Regular communication can also keep small frustrations from turning into bigger conflicts. Talk about what is working, what feels uncomfortable, and whether your boundaries need to change as the season progresses. You don’t have to agree with every coaching decision, but both coach and athlete should know what to expect from the relationship.
Have you ever coached or been coached by a relative? What advice and tips do you have for others in similar situations?
